Category Archives: Useful Information

A morning of dances

Teenagers in Indian (indigenous) costumes, complete with cardboard bows and arrows, poured out of the creamy front doors of the cathedral. They joined a throng of onlookers, including dozens of other young people in brilliant-colored flamenco outfits.

Across the street, painters on a scaffolding were hastily putting a fresh coat of white on a worn-out school building, while students inside crowded at the windows to watch the goings on.

In the street between the two, a national TV news team was filming a cooking demonstration, with a whole kitchen set up on the pavement and a guy cutting and frying peppers on camera.

Police milled around here and there, and guys selling popcorn and vile snow-cone knockoffs (regrettably, I bought one and ended up with sticky hands and a trash disposal problem.)

Matagalpa is just launching its 100th anniversary, and it´ll be going strong all weekend. Sadly, we`re on our way in a few minutes to the bus station because we have commitments in Granada … but at least we had the chance to see the Indians and the flamenco satin people dance in the morning sunshine. We´re trying to record everything now in our memories, because our time here is so short.

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Storytelling totally wins!

missouri-shotglass-550

Check out the Significant Objects Project!   During the space of 4 months or so, these researchers listed 100 objects on eBay, with a total value of about $128.  The objects were just doodads from garage sales, just odds and ends.   The researchers drafted some writers to make stories to go along with the objects, and each object was then listed for sale on eBay with its fictional story in place of a description.   This was not done in such a way as to mislead the buyer;  the author’s byline was at the end of the description, and the stories were very clearly fiction.   The profits from each object were given to the writer who wrote the story.  Over the course of the 4 months, the initial $128. worth of objects were sold on eBay for over $3000!!!

Below is the story, by Jonathan Lethem, which went with the Missouri shotglass, pictured above. (It was bought at a thrift store for $1 and sold on eBay for $76. Click here to see the eBay listing.)

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Listen, friend, forget about the bartender, you could wait all day in this dive, we might as well be invisible over here, I kid you not. Here, let me pour you a drink. No, really, I insist, it’s on me. I brought my own. Just swab out the dust and fingerprints with my shirttails, good as new. Love the way it claps down on the bar, gets your glands salivating, doesn’t it?

No, after you, I insist. My pleasure.

See that freaky little bird? That’s the state bird, my friend. The Missouri Hunt-and-Pecker. Never heard of ’em? Well, then I guess you’ve never been to Missouri, have you? Maybe passed through, didn’t get out of the car. Or changed planes in the airport, or went up in the Arch once, just to say you’d done it. But that’s not Missouri to me. St. Louis is the gateway, sure, but you want to know Missouri you need to drive a few hours into the corn, you want to visit St. Joseph, up through Maryville — skirt the Iowa border, though Iowa’s a sore point from where I sit. You need to get lost in Missouri or you never really were there in the first place. Even then you won’t be likely to meet the Hunt-and-Pecker unless you circulate a manuscript or two.

Manuscript, you heard me right. See, very few know it, because we keep it to ourselves, but Missouri is sick and silly with apprentice fictioneers, the whole state’s like one vast harrowed and furrowed MFA workshop. Why do you think the license plates call it The Show-Don’t-Tell State?

Yeah, sure, Iowa. We’re not promiscuous like them. Rather sit on a manuscript for a hundred years than publish before we’re ready. And when you really contemplate the motto’s implications… show, don’t tell… well, get me here, we’ve taken it to heart. By the time a roving Missouri critique outfit has detasseled your kernels, you better believe me you’ll have second thoughts about advancing into the marketplace. More likely cancel your subscription to Poets & Writers, renew your vows to craft. Scene, setting, voice. Look at that fugging bartender, he’d serve a wood duck in a halter top before he so much as glanced at us.

You like that? Here’s another. Go ahead, you know you want to.

Or shut up entirely, always an option. That’s the ultimate endpoint, you know. Don’t write a word, just be a writer. We’re more than a little stoical out here on the plain, son. Write more? Write less. I strive to write less every day, some day I’ll get there. Not-telling isn’t as easy as it appears.

Lookit ’im there, cool as a flippin’ cucumber, straddling the state like nobody’s business. Crazy little red-tailed devil knows more than he’s saying too, can’t you tell? Love the way he flushes amber, then goes all transparent again. Strive to be like a windowpane, not a mirror, that’s how he makes his way through the world.

All right, I’m out of here. Here you go, you bastard! Keep the change! See, I always leave that sonuvabitch a tip — one red cent. Honest Abe, another fellow from the heartland who knew exactly when to shut up. Keep it real, friend.

written by Jonathan Lethem

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Balm of Gilead

poplar buds in olive oil

poplar buds in olive oil

Yesterday my friend and I walked up a moist forest trail to a place where our naturalist neighbor had cut a few poplar branches from the tall, overhanging trees.  We walked under fir trees dripping with fog, and through an old abandoned apple orchard where the mossy trees had red apples all over them like ornaments. 

The resinous buds of the poplar were what we were out to collect:  Balm of Gilead, they’re called.  The tree is either Populus candicans or Populus balsamifera, I’m not sure which, but the resinous little leaf buds that we picked seemed to be at their sticky prime.  Pretty soon our fingers were so sticky from the resin that it was hard to drop the buds into our little containers.  It took perhaps 45 minutes or so for us each to pick maybe a cup and a half;  the buds are small, and with our sticky fingers the picking went slowly.

But I came home and put some into olive oil, to serve as a massage oil for aching joints.  Now, just 24 hours later, the oil is richly fragrant.  In the photo, which is not a good one, you can see the little buds like fish in their jar.  The red resin is visible as well.   Here’s a page about them on Local Harvest, which is a website everyone should know about anyway.

I also immersed some in a jar with brandy, to serve as a headache remedy in dark wintry days to come.

You come across the fragrance of these trees in the woods before you actually see the tree.  I picked green coriander berries from the garden after the balm of gilead, and the combination left my hands covered with such intense perfume I couldn’t bear to wash them all evening long.

Other things on my mind tonight are bees and story-telling, but that will all wait for another day.  Sometimes I’m crammed so full of ideas I can hardly sort them all out.

Also posted in 2009 blog posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Unsolicited praise for ESET: the best anti-spyware going!

This is just an unsolicited shout-out to ESET in appreciation for it protecting my computer from all the big bad monsters out there in the cyber-jungle.

I’ve got a PC running Windows Vista (I know, I know … but I got a company discount on the purchase that made it about a quarter the price of an equivalent Mac.)

After experimenting unhappily for years with the top-rated free anti-spyware and anti-virus programs out there, as well as a year of paid (and pointless) Microsoft “One-care” , and dealing with all the slowdowns and software popups that they all generated, and still occasionally having my machine get possessed by demons, I paid for a year’s worth of Eset.

That was 7 months ago, and it’s been magic ever since.  Using Eset, which doesn’t noticeably slow down my computer, I would never even know that such a thing as spyware exists in the world.  Except that last night, after browsing on CNet, I stupidly left the website open and the internet connected while I just did some writing.  At one point, a little splash screen popped up from Eset, politely informing me that a Trojan downloader had tried to take up residence, but Eset had quarantined and deleted it.  In a few seconds, the splash screen went away. 

Eset doesn’t require any babysitting, any manual scans, any turning on or off, any attention at all. It updates itself daily and just quietly sits in the background, on guard.  I almost never actually pay for software, but this is one program that I’ll happily shell out for every year.

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If you live in WA state, you don’t have to lose sleep over hospital bills.

WA state has a law which requires all hospitals to give you free care if you are low-income. Here are the links and details to help you access this little-known benefit.

No More Fear of Hospital Bills
There is a state law in Washington which every resident  should know about.  The law requires hospitals to offer free medical care to people whose incomes are below the Federal Poverty guidelines. This free care is available to you regardless of whether you have any insurance or not. (Although if you do have health insurance or medical coupons, Charity Care will only cancel the deductible or copay that you personally are responsible for paying.)

Am I Eligible for Charity Care?
If your income is below the federal poverty guidelines (2007 figures below), the hospital cannot ask about or require you to sell any assets that you might have. You will not be asked to empty your bank account or sell your car.

With a family of 1 person, you can have total household income of $10,210. For 2 people, the ceiling is $13,690. For 3 people: $17,170. For 4 people: $20,650. For 5 people: $24,130.  If you were working before your hospitalization, and then you lost your job as a result of your health situation, you will be evaluated on the basis of your post-hospital income.  You can wait until the hospital sends you its first bill, and then you ask the hospital billing office for a charity care application.

How Do I Apply for Charity Care?
Charity Care is not a program like welfare or medical coupons, and it does not have any official statewide forms.   The law requires each hospital to develop its own paperwork for Charity Care. The way you apply for it is to wait til you get your first hospital bill in the mail, and then tell your hospital billing office that you want to fill out their paperwork for Charity Care. The law is very consumer-friendly; it says that the hospital cannot ask for so much documentation that they discourage people from applying for Charity Care. If a person can’t provide ANY income documentation (such as pay stubs, or w-2 forms, or DSHS paperwork), then the hospital is required to accept a signed statement where you just say how much you earn.

Three More Details about Charity Care
1)  This law does not apply to specialists who may bill you separately from the hospital. However, they will sometimes agree to discount their bills if you tell them that your hospital bill was covered by Charity Care.

2)  Even if your hospital bill has been sent to a collection agency, you can still ask that it be cancelled due to Charity Care. All you have to do is contact the billing office at your hospital, and let them know that you are requesting Charity Care.

3)  If your income is between one and two times the guidelines listed above, the law states that the hospital is required by law to create a sliding scale discount for your hospital bill.
More Information about Charity Care

A detailed description of the Charity Care law is located on a wonderfully helpful website known as Washington Law Help.  Check out other topics there; the website is a toolbox for civil law in this state.

If you have any questions about the law, or need help in getting a hospital to give you charity care,  contact Northwest Justice Project at (206) 464-1519 if you live in King County, or 1-888-201-1014 if you live in another part of Washington state.

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